when the pizza guy came over today i was like “have a good day” and he said “dont tell me what to do” and i just stood there staring at him and then he’s like “lol i got that from drake and josh”
(via takemejames)
school would be 800% better if there was no math involved
If no math was involved how would you know it was 800% better?
(Source: iphone420)
one time in 5th grade it was some asian kid’s birthday and when we sang happy birthday to him, half of the class sang “ching chang wong” instead of cha cha cha and we all had to write apology notes
(via trohmen)
Television:
In the criminal justice system--
Me:
SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENCES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN
f is for friends who dont talk to you
u is for ur alone
n is for never having any plans at all, all i do is sit at home
(Source: slimed, via pardonmydelusions)
His pattern spells “horse”
holy fuck. what kind of witchery is this?!
WHAT THE HELL.
I was like, what a pretty pattern. Now I can’t unsee the letters.
NOT NORMAL WTF
Yo dawg I heard you like horses
That is just allele spooky.
This is the coolest thing I have ever seen.
(via maozedung)
